i havent updated this thing for such a long ass time. hahah. well there
hasnt been much happenin lately since the last time i updated this. but
yea. school has been gettin borin. i've been missin friends and family
memebers. but yea. goin to church and all. got confirmed like bout a
month ago. goin to a campin trip in bout two weeks and i have a prom to
go to in bout two weeks. so yea. got to meet up some old friends of
mine. spring break was tite. got to meet amy kang, my old best friend
that i havent seen for such a long ass time. got to chill wit her like
around 1 to 4 in the mornin. but yea. now its almost the end of the
school year. seniors leavin the school. and i'll be a junior next year,
varsity player in volleyball and good thing is that........I'LL BE ABLE
TO DRIVE!!!!!!!!! so yea. everythin next year will be a okay.
life is a bitch. i dont even know why my life has to be this way, why couldnt she jus see that im protecting her. FUCKING GOD SOME FUCKING FRESHMENS DONT KNOW ANYTHING BOUT LIFE OR HAVING A FUCKING RELATIONSHIPS DO THEY?!?! jus wish that she could know how much i want to be there for her, she is bein retarted bout this shyte. she doesnt know how much she means to me. i lost respect for most of my frewns jus from bein wit her. i tried my ass off to get that respect back from them, but some of them i didnt. i jus want to kill myself, get into a car crash and die, or jump of a fukin cliff. it seems like i have no fuckin life anymore. all this stress pushes me soo fukin much that i want to end my life rite now. get a fuckin knife and stab myself. i bet all this time it was a lie, my whole fukin one month wit her was a fukin lie. she fukin blew me off like i was some kind of person that doesnt know her. she didnt even want me to say shyte to her. i wanted to say sorri for bein an ass to her, but she fukin blew me off. she did choose bad friends. those fukin guys dont even know wat the fuk my life has been. they dont know me for shyte. FUCK LIFE!!!!!!!!!!
life is full of surprises, like stupid surprises, great surprises, werid surprises, but the one surprise that i hate the most is the losin a relationship surprises. it realli fuks up ur life wen u dont have that person who u love soo fukin much anymore. life is fuked up that way, it tries to get u bak for all the stuff u did. but then sumtimes it could get better, but it takes awhile to. i miss her alot rite now and i love her soo fukin much. i jus wish i knew wats goin on in her head rite now. i want to change the past but i cant. now i have to make my future better than the past. i jus hope that i get to have her in my life again. i will wait for her forever. even if it takes me my whole life time to wait.
